The New Age 10 Commandments

Posted by Mike Merritt in Society on

I apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended at this, but I have to share. So, we’re talking about the establishment clause of the 1st Amendment in my Comm Law & Ethics class today. At the end of class, the professor gave us a copy of a New York Times article from 2005, which goes over three differently written versions of the commandments: one in the form of poetry, one that is more or less summarized (I guess for kids), and one that shows how they might be sent in today’s increasingly popular text message technology. Here they are:

3 Do not worship NE god but me
4 Do do make idols dat look like NEtin in da sky or on earth or in da ocean unda da earth
5 dun bow down & worship idols. I am da LORD ur God, & I eem & all ur luv. If u reject me, I will punish ur families 4 3 or 3 generations.
6 But if u luv me & obey my laws I will be kind 2 ur families 4 thous&s of generations.
7 Do not misuse my name. I am da LORD ur God, & I will punish ne1 who misuses my name.
8 Remember dat da Sabbath day belongs 2 me.
9 u have 6 days when u can do ur work,
10 but da 7th day of each week belongs 2 me, ur God. No 1 is 2 work on dat day-not u, ur children, ur slaves, ur animals, or da 4ingers who live in ur towns.
11 In 6 days I made da sky, da earth, da oceans, & evrything in dem, but on the 7th day I rested. Dat’s y I made da Sabbath a special day dat belongs 2 me.
12 Respect ur father & ur mother, & u will live a long time in da l7 I am givin u.
13 Do not murder.
14 Be faithful in marriage.
15 Do not steal.
16 Do not tell lies about others.
17 Do not want NEthing dat belongs 2 sum1 else. Dun want ne1’s house, wife, hus&, slaves, bullocks, donkeys, or NEtin else.

Maybe not so much laughable as passably amusing. Hey, I humor easily.

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